Immaculate Perceptions

2009-08-27T22:07:00.000-07:00

An hour of solitude at the beach... An hour of contemplation... An hour spent to colligate the important things and important ones in my life... At the end of it all, its just love that withstands the test of times. A revelation!!

A fair weather what??

2009-06-24T07:20:00.000-07:00

I had not even dreamt in my worst of dreams that my friends would fall into the category of the idiomatic "fair weather friends..." Was I stupid enough to have let this person appear only when needed??? This soul (gender intentionally made obscure)turned to me to have a drink.... turned to me to emit sorrowful stories and seek comfort outta my words... turned to me to have a good day... And why did this absolutely angelic friend of mine, turn to me??? Cos this angel did not have the current ubiquitous supporters (for whom I have been ignored now) at that point of time...

I do not expect always to be anyone’s first priority, but neither do I live with the idea of being used only as a contingency plan...I'd rather have three or four real good friends who would stand by me forever and not desert me when they find new friends or use me when they need me.... I prefer quality to quantity... As luck would have it, I have a few of these qualitative friends and it is with one of them that I have chosen to spend my life with...

"When we were like you..." Oh no, not again!!

2005-12-12T08:35:00.000-08:00

Why is it that invariably all parents had less than what their offsprings have? Less money, less freedom,less choices... less of almost everything. And the worst part is they choose to remember this only when they don't wannna grant us the lassiez passer to do something.

Start watching a late night movie and mom wud b there with the stereotyped lies oops... lines," When we were like you, we weren't allowed to listen to even the radio. And u ppl today r hooked 24 hrs to the tv!!". I try giving a "So...?"-look, and straight she'd go to dad, kicking a fuss that I hardly know what respect is... I have no other choice but to put off the tv, lest our midnight argument disturbs our neighbours.

If I wanna bring home a guy to work on a project, I better b prepared to listen to the stories of how, "When they were like us", were not given the go-ahead to talk to boys or gals (depending on which parent chooses to counsel dat day). There'd b oodles of such instances..."we didn't wear anything except a saree those days", "our parents didn't give us any pocket money", " we used to travel only by a bicycle", etc, etc...

Now, don't think that am a spoilt brat who pays no heed to the words of my parents. I do understand what kinda life they lived, how unfortunate they were to not enjoy a life like we do... but why shud they keep reminding us of it everytime we wanna enjoy?

Time doesn't fly anymore...

2005-11-26T10:02:00.000-08:00

After exams got over n havin been cut off from the world of entertainment for nearly a month, i had an urge to talk to someone.i picked my fone n browsed the contact list... there were 4 names dat i cud call up and talk, talk abt anythin under the sun- 4 of my nighest frnds. Called up the first one- out of range. tried reachin the 2nd one, but he was busy wid a customer. the hankering for a prolonged chat on the latest movies, gossips, the new entrant in barista's menu card, didn't materialise the third time too... she was busy wid some project. and the fourth one had switched off her mobile.

Not an extraordinary occurrence to be talked abt.nevertheless it jus made me realise how sequestrated i've become.
earlier, we used to talk endlessly, n make the telecom sector richer or be the centre of distraction in coffee shops...
earlier, we cud share feelings n understand each other...
earlier time used to fly, but now its tangled in the concerns of career and vexation of loneliness.
While all are occupied i sit here in front of this lifeless acquaintance n brood over such lilliputian occurrences...

yet i allay this feelin by callin it a phase that everyone goes thru... i'm jus bein over sensitive to things. once my career too takes a shape, these wud b things of yore. meanwhile dis period wud teach me the importance of frnds.

UNTITLED

2005-10-26T10:02:00.000-07:00

I did something today that almost everyone does, but i don't know how many of them have thought so deeply about it... may be I'm the one jobless to muse on such things n to get confused too.

I killed a cockroach today. Sounds like a confession. Yea... I didn't wanna put that rude act of mine in poetic words.

I've never conciously done such an act. I usually shove these slimy creatures off n make sure that they survive after my gigantic fingers put them in another spot. But today's intruder was singularly huge. The very sight of him (yea..."him".Mark of respect for the departed soul,purely out of guilt) turned off my stomach. My face squirmed and I didn't think for a moment before murdering him with the usual weapon our forefathers taught us to use...the broom stick.

As he lay there unmoving, something crossed my mind..."What wud b the world like if everyone starts slaughtering whomever they find disgusting?? Can we really do that? Just because these insects r mute n they don't have rebellious frnds n relatives to attack us with vendetta, we go around takin millions of lives ... I know its highly impossible to live with insects n rodents all around- one sucks ur blood, one enjoys ur cookies, another jus answered nature's call at the corner of ur room... So r v justified in killing them?

HYPOCRITES

2005-10-23T10:36:00.000-07:00

She draped herself in a splendid Kancheevaram Silk saree that harmonized with the ivory embellished neckpiece.The vanity bag fashioned out of the limbless, scaly reptile waited on the table to be carried by her while she fished her drawer for the watch with strap made from the world's finest alligator skin. White kidskin sandals adorned her feet and as she walked towards the gate, ill-starred Jimmy leaped up, with drooping tongue in expectation of his grub atleast today..."Two days deprivation of sustenance is a bit too much for that tattered, smelly shoe biting," his eyes communicated. Without any acknowledgement of that wretched creature's importune, she hurried off in the car... How could she be late for the meeting? SHE was the keynote speaker in the club on today's topic - "Animal Cruelty- A Misdemeanor".

Surprisingly SBI !!

2005-10-20T21:42:00.000-07:00

Dunno how many of u have seen this campaign by SBI... Surprsingly SBI.The huge hoarding at Adyar and the ad in today's paper sure did catch my eyes. Wat caught my eyes was not just the immensity of the hoarding or the newspaper ad, but the words Surprisingly SBI. I can't decipher y a bank of such credibleness, one of the oldest wid a mindboggling customer base(they themselves have stated it in one of the ads- it has more customers than the population of Australia), use the word SURPRISINGLY. It shows the amount of diffidence they have in themselves... Aren't they positive that they r the best? Did they use it jus to make it alliterative?? But there r so many words beginning wid 'S', that can mark their surefootedness n wud make it alliterative too. R the ad makers at a loss of congruent words?

Wat I vehemently feel is that a bank of a such a standing must have used the words 'NATURALLY' or 'OF COURSE' or 'SURELY' or somethin akin to these.

THE DEMENTED ME

2005-10-18T03:35:00.000-07:00

Its 3.30 in the morning, i'm 20 and am excogotating....I dunno wat to talk, I dunno wat to write. Yet, I settle to write abt things... things i don't wanna do, don't wanna c, n things i want... So u ppl can imagine how dis post is gonna be cos i'm in a demented state of mind. But pls put up wid me .

I don't wanna c unusually huge lizards in my room.
I don't wanna c my room carpet begrime.
I don't want my computer to hang.
I don't wanna b rude wid anyone.
I don't wanna b incessantly debating wid my mom.
I don't wanna burn the food that am cooking.
I don't wanna consume the amount of sweets like i do now.
I don't wanna gripe abt the illusionary paunch i've developed.
I don't wanna spend sleepless nites watching dumb movies.
I don't wanna b scared.
i don't wanna remain ignorant of the world around.
I don't wanna b oblivious to ppl's sufferings.
I don't wanna be lonley.
I don't wanna b in mob.
I don't wanna b mocked.
I don't wanna b superfluously praised.
I don't wanna waste time... like am doin right now.
I don't wanna miss him so badly.
I don't wanna cry wid the pain of separation.

All I want now is a paseo alongside the sand of a calm beach, illuminated by the big moon... and someone to walk along wid me.

I KNOW NOT HOW TO MAKE UP...

2005-10-11T09:16:00.000-07:00

My 3yr old niece might ridicule my above confession... I really dunno how to tart up. Gimme the doodads for making up, all together n I'd b as confused as the politicians in the parliament. I can't figure out wat's wat except by reading the detailed description. I did try make-up some yrs back- the mascara, eye liner & kohl pencil (with major assistance from my sis)... dammit!! cudn't blink my eyes at ease & worse was wen black tears started streaming down my face at a point where i desperately needed to weep... but had no alternative than to curb the downpour of the black, ugly liquid. And then lipsticks...shucks!!! I had to restrict my talk in the fear of the lipstick vanishing from my lips.

That was the first n last day of my encounter with make-up. But I really envy ppl who possess the art of making up most of all, carry it with skill [Shoba, especially u... Kudos!!]

I shud get acquianted with the art at the earliest. It might help at some point. After all, face is the index of the mind...

DAMN!! I'M A MAN!

2005-10-07T22:14:00.000-07:00

Its been quite some time since I blogged.. Was wrapped up with studies, studies and more studies. But today I thought I'll take some time & write about somethin that's been at the back of mind for a long time now.

Why is it that men are forbidden from crying ? They can bang their fists agianst the wall or break a few glasses to vent their hurt or frustration and shed a few drops of blood... but tears... no way!!

Is crying a "girly" habit? Does man lose his manliness by crying? I know a guy who cries, rather "cried", but made me promise that i wudn't tell abt it to anyone.[ I write this with the confidence that he won't b reading my blog... Ppl who r close to me will know who I'm talking abt]. Infact, when he cried, I was moved... I was touched. But when he took this promise, I started wondering.

Why? Why is it that men consider it belittling to cry in front of others? Is their family gonna ostracize them for doing it? Or is it that they think that a man shud only make a woman cry n not b crying, himself?

Guys!! Crying is a birth right... If you feel like, do cry. Do not adhere to this stupid belief that "Men don't cry." Its just an expression of your feeling. Not a grave mistake. And stop branding females as the tribe that cries.

I MAY BE SMALL BUT I'M THE BOSS!!!

2005-09-26T10:56:00.000-07:00

This is for all those ppl who derive sadistic pleasure in calling me "short." For that tribe of ppl whose pituitary gland worked overtime while mine decided to take rest, I'd like to clarify certain things.

a) I totally am not interested in basketball & certainly do not aspire to become a Miss Universe, World, Earth and much of the same.

b) I haven't depended on anyone to reach to the things i want.

c) And am confident enough that i can find a guy who wud definitely not complain while inclining to kiss me...

So, in the light of the above statements, I think I'm okay in being the height I'm and after all, 5'2'' is normal Indian height for gals, dammit!!

And in all those gangly frnds n relatives of mine, I don't really know anyone who's competing wid Micheal Jordan or Aishwarya Rai. What they've actually achieved is to mention "tall" against "height" in their horoscopes!!

So, stop the concern n humour over me... I'm well off the way I'm.

I may be small but I'm the boss!! And all of us know this banality, "Great things come in small packages."

How to ACT like an INTELLECTUAL...

2005-09-23T09:08:00.001-07:00

If someone questioned me about a movie that was way beyond my comprehension, I'd start exhibiting my dumbness by jabbering about the costumes the actors sported, about how uncomfortable the seats were and the couple in front who had forgotten that they have a right to remain silent.

But there is this person I know...I ask him about the same movie and he'd confidently utter," Considering all the factors, I guess it was not all that bad. I inquisitively continue, "Do u think the husband is justified in disowning his wife?". He'd say," Well...(pause) I'll have to weigh both the sides before tellin anythin abt that."

Start some weird topic wid him, (that u urself quite don't understand, main motive being to confuse him), like

" Nature is really powerful. Even if we try to drift from where v r, it puts us back to where v belong."
And he goes "How profound!! Aristotle, too has professed the same. Nature rules!!"
And Me "???!!!"

I've tried so many times to confuse him, but in vain. He has an answer for everything.I used to wonder,"Can there be someone who's so intellectual?"
But not anymore...Cos i've realised that one can always pretend to b an intellectual....All u need to know are a few names like Aristotle, Socrates, Swami Vivekananda, Shakespeare and Byron. If you can get to know some more, well n good. And know phrases such as, "All things remaining equal...", "Considering the pros n cons..." and"In the light of certain events...". Another essential thing is a thoughtful pause... It makes ppl believe that u r contemplating.

As Confusious said," its easy to be an intellectual, after all!!" ;-)

MAKE YOUR OWN RULES!!!

2005-09-21T22:43:00.000-07:00

I had gone to a book shop today... And came across a lot of people buying books like "You can win", "7 habits of effective people", "How to win friends?" and the likes of it.

I had always thought that our personality culminates from our own experiences... Do we need rules regarding how to live our life? Ironically, these books are called "Self help" books... Isn't it our life, after all and what better way to learn from our own experiences? Living life is not like learning Science or maths from a book...

Its the extremely dispirited ones or those who are fond of aping others' life who need such books. The rest of us needn't rely on these handbooks on how to live a life that is our's.

I'm Ok. Are you ok??

Arise, Awake and Stop the Alarm!!!

2005-09-18T09:04:00.000-07:00

What can be more infuriating than the cacophony of the alarm just when your phantasmagoria of a date with Arjun Rampal and Johnny Depp had kicked off??!!(I know its a weird combination but that's how my dreams are!!)...

I'd been making this fake promise to my mom for quite some time now that i shall rise early morning and make an unfeigned attempt to swot.early morning rising and me are like honesty and politicians..
All these days, she pardoned me for not keeping up that promise. But today, I dunno wat got in to her... she set the alarm at 5 a.m & tried to put a damper on my uncanny (yet fascinating) envisages.... :-L

But, me, the invincible, arose, awoke & stopped that wretched alarm and was off to my world of dreams again...

p.s. this petty act of mine resulted in an immense cut down on my much devoured noshs and a day full of grumbles...therefore i gotta seriously think abt responding to the alarm in a positive way 2mrw

i wish i had selective amnesia...

2005-09-17T09:53:00.000-07:00

I had always been proud of my wonderful memory retention... I can narrate the trivial attributes of an event such as the colour of clothes ppl were wearing and the objects that were around.

But today I discerned that gud memory is in reality not all that gud... The reason behind this was a small piece of paper with three words..."I LOVE YOU"

I had taken a conscious effort to avoid his thoughts for the past 2 months, doing things that would keep me occupied (though it was impossible to wholly ward them off). But today that tiny piece of paper with those words in the most recognizable n loved handwriting, transported back an intact, unedited collection of memories...

Clad in my favourite shirt, that cute thing , sitting beside me in a very romantic mood, but not quite knowing how to express it in front of my mom (he was home on the pretext of assignment), tore this miniscule of a paper and wrote those three most treasured words....

GOD!!! I really wish i suffered from memory loss.

P D A

2005-09-16T01:08:00.000-07:00

One of the many things that I can't stand is PDA... no, its not the Personal Digital Assistant...Am talking about PUBLIC DISPLAY of AFFECTION.

I stumble across a great deal of people overcome by this syndrome. They r either oblivious to the souls around them or they feel that they can make others fathom their love only by advertising it with their nestles, kisses and what not!!

I came across one such couple today. During the entire 2 hrs of them being in my vision, not a moment did their fingers disentangle. And while she kept feeding him with the one bowl of ice-cream they had ordered for both, he kept fondling her hair... what a charming spectacle??!! [thoooooooooo....!!!]
This is the first kind...the oblivious ones.

I came across the second kind too, a little while later... the embarrassing part being, it was my cousin and his wife themselves.I put them under the second category cos unlike the first kind, these ppl r very much conscious of the mortals around them and their main intent is to get noticed. What do these people want us to know? The volume of their love?? To perceive that the family has no other "made for each other"pair like them? We are indeed happy that u love each other, guys!! But stop exhibiting it.

Mature love doesn't need voice and actions to express it. And if at all, u feel it has to be expressed, contain ur mushy romance to ur private expanse.

P T C!!!

2005-09-15T10:48:00.000-07:00

I was supposed to have a rendezvous with my friend today at 5p.m. My prudence suggested I take a bus coz my pocket money doesn't increase with the increasing petrol prices.(My dad shud earnestly consider the granting of Dearness Allowance!!)

I was fortunate enough to get one within a few mins of waiting and successful enough in infiltrating in to the already overflowing automobile. And, I was more fortunate to receive a red carpet welcome.[Courtesy: The old lady who had taken her position in the seat adjacent to the steps, displaying a disarray of discoloured teeth.]

After a few seconds of me boarding the bus and being manhandled by my fellow pasengers, I seriously wished that I hadn't be born with my olfactory organ... Thanx to the basket of almost decomposed fish and the whole lot of my co-passengers who held the handle over their heads with absolute confidence on the cleansing agents they had used in the morning.Then I realised that I shouldn't be kicking up this much of a fuss for the three bucks am paying.

But, what I couldn't tolerate was the constant call for "passing" currency and tickets. Some very genteel co-travellers even chided me for not responding to their calls. Finally, the bus reached my destination and i didn't have to make an effort to get down. I was aided by the co-get downers.[where else can u get this luxury???] After this pleasure trip [indeed... u get to witness a whole lot of entertaining stuff like woman-woman fighting, man-woman fighting , man-man fighting and a free massage] I looked at my watch... it was 5.30...
what wud have taken a mere 15 mins on my Scooty, had taken nearly an hr on this luxury lancer, thanx to the driver with a timing sense of an age old turtle.

Stop blaming love

2005-09-12T23:33:00.000-07:00

I keep hearing this everywhere...."Love Hurts" followed by a deep sigh. My friends keep saying it, read any article on break up and its titled so, and I hear it in movies, song lyrics... Everywhere!!! This lead me in to a bit of contemplation. "Does love really hurt?" Not really. All you people, who blame love for your pain, think for a moment. Isn't it your beloved who hurts you? (S)He forgot to wish you for a birthday. (S)He left you for you for your best friend. (S)He didn't let you know that (s)he is going out of town. (S)He yelled at you when you went with your friend from the opposite sex for lunch. When its him/her who does all these, why do all of us keep blaming love? Love is an enchanting feeling that puts two people together and teaches them how accept each other inspite of their differences. I ardently feel that, love, in truth, heals wounds. The love (s)he showers on you, will make you forget your tensions and sorrows. When
(s)he overwhelms you with flowers and chocolates, accompanies you for movies.. etc., you squeak," (S)he's sooooooooooo sweet... (S)he loves me so much...". Do you ever say, " love is so sweet"? But, when you are hurt, you berate love.. Next time, you utter the platitude, "Love hurts", do chew over this... Its not love that causes traumas. Its Tom. Its Amanda. Its Roshan. Its Ria. Its Murugan. Its Lakshmi. Its that person you are madly in love with.

Will I stop aging?? Atleast in thougts...

2005-09-12T21:30:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I fought with my mom, today I shopped with her. Last week, I fought with my friend, today i dined with him. A month back, I was depressed and there were times i felt suicidal. Today I'm merry. These teeny fights, guilt and the "Sorry" with an embarrasing smile- they teach you so much. Infact, in the period of 5 yrs, from 15 to 20, I've experienced and learnt so much that I don't think I can learn in the entirerity of the rest of my life. This is the age when you dream like you have never dreamt before, sleep like never slept before, hog like you have never hogged before, protest like you have never protested before and love like you have never loved before. To put it in simpler words, this is the age to do all those things that parents brand as "distractions". The boredom, the pain, the deception, the merriment, the excitement, the embarrassment - I've become addicted to all this; I've become addicted to this age; to this life. Even the thought of cleaning my house, cooking, taking care of my husband and children scares the living daylights out of me.. i wanna live this period of life forever.. I know its wishful rambling.. I can't elude physical aging, but I think my mind will live in this period of life forever.

Sand, Shells,Surf and ...wait a minute.... SHIT!!!!

2005-09-12T20:27:00.000-07:00

It had been quite some time since I went to the beach. So I decided to break from my routine and spend some time with nature. The beach was alluring at twilight... the sand glittering with those last rays of the sun for the day supplemented by the rays from the light house, the shells, half-concealed in the golden sand, children flying their flamboyant kites, couples that would make good models for Fevicol ads.... Watching all this, i tread towards the shore, longing for the waves to touch my feet again and again. After indulging myself to my heart's content,I decided to make a move. I walk back admiring the kids at play and failing to notice what's in store for me... right under my... hmm.. not nose.. but foot...(I thank God on that note). My foot suddenly got stuck to the sand. Puzzled, I looked down... what is it??!! "Oh my God! Shit!!".My face squirmed and body writhed. Tears streamed down my face. Questions ran through my mind.."Can this be pernicious?" "Are there any peering glances at me?" Fortunately, there were none. How long can I be stuck like that? So, I decided to move on, donating my intricately worked and exorbitantly priced footwear to the beach. I wondered, "Why did this happen to me? Or have there been myriad of wretched victims of uncivilization?" Then,I consoled myself,"Come on Deepa... This is Marina, not Miami."